Chapter 1176: Don't want to die, don't really want
Ji'an CountyThe first thing you need to do is to make sure that you have a good idea of what you want to do. But Consort Yun is extremely fickle and her nature is hard to understand, she obviously said she would eat together, but when it was time to eat, she suddenly said she had to go shopping on the street, and as a result, there were only two people left at the table, An and Xuerong.
An said helplessly to Xurong: "Let's eat! I left some out for the Queen Yun, so she can eat when she comes back if she's hungry and heated up. Although she has stayed in the county, she has not had much contact with you and me these days, so I think there is still a gap in her heart because of you and His Highness. Today eighty percent is also a temporary reversal, around this situation is not once or twice, you do not take it to heart, eat more than once, and then this thin people can be ugly."
"I …… very thin?" Want to Rong caress their cheeks murmured a question, and then bitter smile and shook his head, "is not said that girls should be thin some to look good? Thin more waist, those noble families in the capital, the young ladies are striving to reduce the amount of body, once upon a time when the eldest sister in order to make themselves look more slender, once for five days in a row do not eat a bite of food, only eat some fruit and drink tea."
"But then what? I was so hungry that I fainted and asked the doctor to prescribe medicine and ate for half a month before I had some strength." An's as soon as Feng Shen Yu came to be angry, "you good not to learn from her why?" But then think about the final end of the Feng Shen Yu, but also sighs and sighs, only to say that the years now compared to the former Feng House life, as if it is the past life and the present life in general. If she had known that she would have such a happy life today, she would have been more energetic in the old days. "Come on, eat! Don't think about those things." He said, and pressed an extra spoonful of rice into the bowl of Xirong.
She sighed lightly and picked up the bowl, took a chopstick of rice to her mouth, but could not swallow it. It was hard to eat two bites, but I don't know why, but suddenly a heartache came up, the heartache was so strong that she could hardly hold it back, even with all her strength, tears could not help but fall down.
She put down the dishes and covered her face with her hands and kept crying. Child, what's wrong with you? Why are you crying all of a sudden?"
She shook her head as she cried and choked up, "I don't know, Mother, I don't know what's wrong, I'm just so sad, it came out of nowhere, there's no reason. Mother, my heart hurts so much, why does it hurt so much?"
An's how to know why, want to Yung cry, she can only help her back gently soothing, from time to time to comfort: "Perhaps this period of time is too depressing, Yun Fei niang refused to leave, you have to go to her courtyard all day to ask for peace, although she no longer say anything, but your heart suffocated, mother are in the eyes of the. You can cry if you want to, but after crying, you have to think about yourself, you can't end up alone in your life.
The reason for her weeping was what she said, but no matter how she leaned on it, it was never quite right. She was helpless and finally shook her head, "No, Mother, it's not what you said, I will cry, and it's not because of that. Mother ……" She was stunned and suddenly asked, "If I die one day, you won't shed a tear?"
An froze, then nodded: "Yes, tears will be shed and my heart will ache, even if you are far away, my heart will still ache because we are mother and daughter, we are connected."
"That's right!" Thinking about it, Thinking Rong actually dried her tears hard by herself. Although they still flowed out when they were dry, she no longer just hid her face and sobbed, but picked up her rice bowl again, shoved two bites of rice into her mouth with great force, and went and put a chopstick of meat into the bowl, then said to An, "Then I can't die."
An was confused by what she said, and then looked at Xuerong very hard to eat, it is not clear, she kept staring at Xuerong, until Xuerong served a second bowl of rice finally could not help but ask: "Why suddenly say what to die or not to die? Why do you have to eat so much rice? You always eat only a small bowl, and this time you can't even eat half a bowl of rice, what's wrong with you?"
"Nothing." You want to shake your head stubbornly, "I just want to live healthily, for mother's sake." After saying that, she stuffed a large mouthful of rice into her mouth again. But as he ate, the tears in his eyes flowed even more, finally flowing into the rice, mixed with tears and swallowed, vaguely salty. "Mother." He said, "Although for mother want rong will not die, but also not very want to live, how to do?"
What to do? She was asking An, and she was asking herself. There was an uneasiness in her heart, from a person she had hidden deep in her heart, once unreachable and once close at hand, just one step away from being with her in her old age, but in the end, she chose to retreat to the initial distance. In this world, only that person has always touched her heart, just like An said, no matter where the world is, she will sense it. But what can that do? A thousand waters and a thousand mountains, how can she not go to his side.